Ups and downs

So I’ve been wondering about certain aspects of the “relationship” with Mr. FWB.  He seemed to vacillate between fun temporary hook up, FWB who would continue to be friends post benefits and some need to be my boyfriend. Last night a casual phone conversation turned into him emotionally vomiting all over me…Now I understand his weird behaviors.  He’s developed a certain amount of emotional investment in me and he feels my detachment…Or maybe it’s better expressed as he feels my lack of serious emotional investment.  That’s not to say I don’t like him and enjoy his company, but it never occurred to me that he had a legitimate interest in me beyond the physical so I turned off the part of me that might have moved my initial physical attraction into a more serious connection.  Most of our conversation has been blatantly flirtatious and heavily sexual although there’s been an odd hesitation to actually have sex (this is what made  me question things  a bit).  Anyway, he described me in a way that legit hurt my feelings.  Like REALLY hurt my feelings.  I was shocked.  I didn’t cry, but I was close.  After we hung up, I texted and asked him to come over so we could at least talk in person (he was around the corner from my apt when the initial conversation started and was on his way here and randomly turned around).  He never answered, so I called him (he tends to answer texts faster than calls) and he sent that call directly to voicemail.  I gave up and went to bed with what he said weighing heavily on my mind.

Woke up this morning really late.  I forgot to reset my alarm last night so I slept 4 hours later than I normally would.  When I checked my phone, he had called twice but left no voicemail.  I called back. No answer.  I texted back. No answer.  I do not know what to do with this anymore.  There’s a conversation that needs to be had, but I’m not sure I know what the conversation is…If he wants a girlfriend (which is what it sounds like) then that needs to come out so I can backtrack us back to the friendzone as quickly as possible before anyone’s feelings get hurt.  If he wants to continue with friends with benefits, I need to know what that means to him because it’s pretty clear that whatever is going on between us means two totally different things.

I swear, I’m staying single until I die.  My vagina might sew itself shut, but I’m getting to a point where I’m starting to pray for asexuality.  Women are too emotional, men suck at communicating.   Relationships and dating are annoying.  A nice, casual, FUN situation shouldn’t be that hard to find, but apparently I’m wrong.